they're the ones who stay the same.
May. 21st, 2010 06:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
damkiannaB's mother and sister have come up for graduation - they came a little early, because B has some ceremonies and stuff she's going to before the actual graduation on Sunday, and arrived late last night. I like them both, but I think I've written before about B's mother; she's a pleasant person, but in any serious conversation, I think she and I would start to argue very quickly.
Case in point: our conversation today included her saying (almost verbatim) "There must be a husband in your future somewhere, right? You're such a nice girl!" Which ... I mean, clearly she intended to be complimentary and friendly, but the pure heteronormativity of it nearly choked me. It's possible she meant to link niceness and straightness, but I think it's loads more likely that it just never crossed her mind that I might be any flavor of queer, or that marriage might not be one of my goals in life, or anything else. But it was such an ordinary thing to say; it seems weird to make a big deal out of it, and yet it did grate. Bleh. :P
Anyway. I just let it pass at the time, and avoided the possibility of longer conversations that might shunt me into lecture mode by refusing all their invitations to meals - politely, and in a friendly fashion, of course. Well, okay, and also partly because I don't have much cash right now, and I'm not sure whether any of the ATMs on campus that I usually go to would be accessible. (I will have to check early tomorrow, as M, K, and Ka are coming up to visit, and I probably ought to feed them. :D)
So. Time to microwave me some assumption-free macaroni and cheese.
Case in point: our conversation today included her saying (almost verbatim) "There must be a husband in your future somewhere, right? You're such a nice girl!" Which ... I mean, clearly she intended to be complimentary and friendly, but the pure heteronormativity of it nearly choked me. It's possible she meant to link niceness and straightness, but I think it's loads more likely that it just never crossed her mind that I might be any flavor of queer, or that marriage might not be one of my goals in life, or anything else. But it was such an ordinary thing to say; it seems weird to make a big deal out of it, and yet it did grate. Bleh. :P
Anyway. I just let it pass at the time, and avoided the possibility of longer conversations that might shunt me into lecture mode by refusing all their invitations to meals - politely, and in a friendly fashion, of course. Well, okay, and also partly because I don't have much cash right now, and I'm not sure whether any of the ATMs on campus that I usually go to would be accessible. (I will have to check early tomorrow, as M, K, and Ka are coming up to visit, and I probably ought to feed them. :D)
So. Time to microwave me some assumption-free macaroni and cheese.
