damkianna: A cap of the Reverend Mother from the Dune miniseries, with accompanying text: "Space cowgirl." (Default)
Finals feel like they are iiiiiiiiinching closer, as slowly as possible. :P I'm going to be so fried by the time they actually get here, just from the stress of anticipation.

Also, half as a reminder to myself: I'm going to try to remember not to crosspost to LJ, as a kind of symbolic gesture towards the [community profile] three_weeks_for_dw event - this is not going to be three weeks of riveting! creative! content, or even three weeks of lame banal content that anyone is going to care about. But DW is my primary home, I crosspost from it to LJ instead of the other way around, and ... idk, even a little bit counts?

It snowed like mad today - today, in late April, which even in Vermont is not a common thing to have to say, though I don't think it's the absolute summeriest snow I've ever seen. Oh, weather.

Also today: the final CCC exam. And man, is it a relief to have that over with - not because I was stressing about the exam itself so much as because the CCC exams have a take-home pre-exam essay portion that is absolutely awful. Not challenging; relentlessly tedious. It was relentlessly tedious to write it for the midterm, and it was relentlessly tedious this time, too. :P Seriously, it was like pulling teeth, except even pulling teeth has some interesting, if sharply painful, moments. I know I should be grateful that it was take-home, and that it was easy and tedious, not difficult and tedious, but yikes.

After that, though, it was all smooth sailing and my progressively-less-tentative [community profile] ladiesbigbang story, which is seriously filling up my fic notebook. I ... might actually sign up. D: I'm frightened of doing that because it means a visible contract to actually put my writing where other people besides my sister can read it, which is deeply terrifying to me; but I'm already only a thousand words away from the minimum, so it's not like I have to worry about having nothing by the deadline, even if what I have is 15k of crap. **hands** idk, I still have, like, two days to think about it.

Oh - and I also broke my record for consecutive hours of consciousness. \o? B had to print out her thesis: three copies, one for each of her defense committee members, and the whole thing with cover and bibliography and all was close to eighty pages. A lot, but not bad, except that she doesn't have a printer. So we used mine, which is a creaky old all-in-one ink printer - I am very fond of it, but it's not going to be setting speed records any time soon. Plus, I had to edit B's thesis before she could print it. I mean, because she asked me to, but secretly, I was just dying to - I've edited B's papers before, and she is just WRETCHED at sentence structure. Like, really abysmal. So that took a while, and then printing out about two hundred and forty pages with my printer was at least a couple hours more. So, in the end, we were up until about 4:00 AM printing.

4:00 AM being past the point where my brain says, "Fuck it," and stops asking me to go to sleep, even getting into bed and lying down and closing my eyes wasn't enough to knock me out. I wobbled and giggled my way through class the next day - apparently sleep deprivation makes me happy - and went to bed early, for a grand total of about thirty-eight hours awake. Good times.

I've also been amusing myself by going back through the [journalfen.net profile] the_hms_stfu archives and enjoying the lolariousness - not that I don't love the stuff that's posted in the comm now, but it's fun to go back to the old days sometimes. Plus, I happened upon a Ron!hate essay that I have been greatly enjoying tearing apart in spare moments.

And now, back to the fic. To sign up, or not to sign up ...
damkianna: A cap of the Reverend Mother from the Dune miniseries, with accompanying text: "Space cowgirl." (Default)
This is going to seem very peculiar and/or suspicious in light of my last post, but I have taken the first steps on the rocky road to dropping my thesis.

Actually, I think writing that post was part of what prompted me to spend yesterday evening, and this morning, taking a long, hard look at where exactly my thesis is, and where it's going; and it didn't look good. I have a lot of work left to do, and not a lot of time to do it. If it were a matter of effort, yeah, I'll admit I would have trouble mustering the energy to really try; but I don't actually even think it's about needing to up my level of effort anymore, it just literally can't be done in the time allotted.

I e-mailed the Dean of the HCol this morning to ask him what would happen if I came to the conclusion that I could not finish my thesis; he didn't really answer that question directly, just told me to come see him. I just finished a long, teary phone call to my mother that helped me sort out a lot of how I'm feeling about it - my mother is awesome, I totally don't deserve her, but don't tell her I said that - and shot off an e-mail to the Dean's assistant to set up an appointment.

... I have to say, I feel awfully relieved. I think I do still want to work through my data, finish coding and put it through Goldvarb and everything, just because I've put too much time and work in to not learn what I went into this to find out; but it'll be a big load off my mind, not trying to force myself to finish the unfinishable. I know this is both nerdy and massively presumptuous, but I feel sort of like I'm Sisyphus, and I just got permission to let go of that stupid rock and stop worrying about it.

Now, to study for that Hearing Rehab exam I have this afternoon. \o?
damkianna: A cap of the Reverend Mother from the Dune miniseries, with accompanying text: "Space cowgirl." (Default)
I think my growth as a person is making it harder and harder for me to care about my thesis.

... Yeah, I know, but it's totally true! I feel like in the last year, maybe two, I've started to like myself more than I used to; or at least feel more comfortable being myself than I used to. I was really obsessive about grades for a long time, because I used to feel like if my grades were bad, that was because they were a manifestation of a fundamental flaw somewhere in me. But I feel less and less like that now - which has somehow translated itself into a severe case of not caring at all whether I earn College Honors for my thesis or not. D: Oops.

Also, I have totally turned ridiculous over my collection of Avatar five-things fics, aka March of the Dead Moms - it has turned into thirty things, half of which are about women who don't even have names in canon. \o? idek. I feel so silly; the show is ... well, okay, probably above average for children's television, but it sometimes hurts me to watch it. And yet there is so much potential for awesomeness, I can't stop prodding it.

... I realize the juxtaposition of these things is highly suspicious. Yes, it is a lot more fun to plot Avatar fic than it is to work on my thesis, but that's only a secondary factor, I swear. I did the last five-things before break, and I have viciously quashed all urges to write since then, because - well, I'm indifferent to the act of finishing my thesis, as noted, but I feel like I ought to at least give it some effort.

(I think that if I were in grad school, these things would not be issues; but doing an undergraduate thesis that works the way this one does - it has no effect on my degree, has no effect on my ability to graduate, and probably won't affect my chances of getting into grad school the way it might for, say, B, who's a history major - is starting to feel like a truly massive waste of time. Doing the interviews was good for me, and fascinating, during the brief snatches of time when I was able to get over the mind-numbing terror; but the analysis is incredibly tedious, and just doesn't feel important enough, either to my life or to anyone else, to be worth it.)
damkianna: A cap of the Reverend Mother from the Dune miniseries, with accompanying text: "Space cowgirl." (What is this fuckery?)
There was some unexpected fail on the comics page of the paper this morning - at least, I think it was fail. Our local paper prints Ann Landers (well, the successor thereto, Annie's Mailbox) in amidst the comics, and it had a letter today from a man railing about how ridiculous it is for him to be expected to keep his eyes to himself when women wear slutty tight, low-cut, attractive clothes to work.

And the columnists agreed with him.

The text of their reply reads: Some women think tight, low-cut clothing is attractive. Some women tease ... )

Usually, I find skimming Annie's Mailbox while I eat breakfast relatively pleasant; sometimes, they get incredibly stupid letters, and I enjoy watching the writers who've taken over deliver impeccably polite smackdowns. So it was pretty definitely unpleasant to finish this guy's screed (which included gems like "Why do young women dress to appear cheap and slutty? ... They convey a message of sexual availability. Yet if I notice, it must be because I'm ogling young girls, and shame on me," and "Women learn early on what gets a man's attention, but heaven help us if we look too long or respond in any way"), rolling my eyes the whole way, and then hit a reply like that.

Further nattering. )

I'm not sure I'm being very articulate about this, because it's boggling me so much to be disagreeing so intensely with columnists whom I usually find at least moderately sensible. Maybe I'm just reading this all wrong? I don't know.

Anyway. In non-faily news, I have my final exam for Syntax to finish by tomorrow evening. Sadly, the class never really did pick up the way I was hoping; on the plus side, it filled a requirement, and at least it wasn't so difficult that it disrupted my thesis work. That would've sucked.

Speaking of my thesis: I did another interview this afternoon, at one o'clock, which was very long - we almost ran over the capacity of the memory chip in my digital recorder - and very satisfying. It makes up for the one I did on Monday; I forgot the recorder entirely at that one, and was too embarrassed to say so. Fortunately, I managed to contrive an excuse to talk to Monday's subjects again tomorrow, so I may still be able to get a decent speech sample from them. (Rescheduling that? One of the worst phonecalls of my life. Augh.) Also on the good side, it's possible that M, J, and K fit the criteria for interviewees - it would be very easy for me to interview them, I would get three interviews which would definitely be long enough (which is very much of the good), and it would be great to get some younger subjects, since my sample so far is not very diverse in terms of age.

So. Right. Syntax exam.
damkianna: A cap of the Reverend Mother from the Dune miniseries, with accompanying text: "Space cowgirl." (Default)
I don't know how many spoilers there can really be, here, but just in case: Cut for nattering about HP6. )

tl;dr: There were parts I liked, and parts I didn't like. The former managed to outweigh the latter, thankfully, and I think that, overall, I genuinely enjoyed watching it.

In other news: I had my first interview today! \o/ And I didn't throw up or faint or cancel at the last minute or anything. I managed to get a full hour of talking out of my interviewee, and I even caught him doing interesting things with glottal stops a couple of times, although most of the time I was actually listening to the (very interesting) things he was telling me. I love Norwich more than I can possibly express, and I love listening to people talk about their memories and their childhoods; it feels like a dream job, like cheating, to be able to make a thesis out of listening to people tell me fascinating things about its history, and their lives in it.
damkianna: A cap of the Reverend Mother from the Dune miniseries, with accompanying text: "Space cowgirl." (Default)
First, a little lyrics spam - I have memorized this song, and have been singing it to myself in the car on the way to and from work for the past couple of weeks. I figure I might as well preserve it for myself, in case I ever forget it.

Lyrics to The Laughlin Boy. )

There's a chorus - listen to me, children, well, I wouldn't tell a lie - but I'm not super-fond of it, and also I don't remember between which verses it repeats, so. I'm fond of this song partly because it's the only one I can think of written in this story-of-a-hero kind of way about a conscientious objector, and partly because Tracy Grammer's voice is fine. I have got to get my hands on some more of her music, because, damn. There's something about the tone quality of her voice that I just love.

The second ep of Warehouse 13 was overall probably not as good as the pilot - teeny spoilers, probably no one cares. ) I think it's possible that they're trying a little too hard to be ~original~; I want to say, like, guys, it is srsly okay if you pick well-known or obvious or predictable artifacts, I am here for partner dynamics and banter. Still, I can't convince myself to drop it; I have already written snippets of ten (TEN! AUGH) Cliché-Bingo-based fics about Pete and Myka, and at least five more are trying to get out. My life is so hard.

BURN NOTICE. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY. That is pretty much all I have to say about that. I know it's maybe a little silly, but I kind of love the ones where Michael wins people over through his noble refusal to leave them behind/let them get hurt/what-have-you - and also I am a sucker for Sam and Fi coming to the rescue. And his mom, OMG ♥. Madeline is MADE OF AWESOME. \o/ If I love this show any harder, I'm going to break something.

Tonight is Harry Potter Night, pretty much; my friends and I are all getting together to see HP6 this evening ... in costume, because we are all GINORMOUS DORKS. M is going to be Professor Trelawney, with scarves and bracelets and big glasses; J is going to be Tonks - she is for serious dedicated, she will be dying her hair pink; K is going to be Luna, because she pretty much is anyway; and Ka is probably going to be Narcissa Malfoy, as she is tall and pointy and blond. (Q is in Boston, doing an internship.) I was briefly contemplating being McGonagall, as I have a plaid nightgown (she totally had a tartan dressing gown on for about a page of OotP, okay, it is a TTLY VALID COSTUME), but then I had an apostrophe epiphany, and decided to be Irma Pince instead. I can totally rock a stern librarian outfit. And also I'll feel like not too much of a weirdo if nobody else besides us is dressed up, which is something I could probably not pull off in the nightgown.

In thesis news, I finally got the whole IRB thing sorted out, and made my first four calls to prospective interviewees today; I've got one set up for next Wednesday, and left three messages. \o/!
damkianna: A cap of the Reverend Mother from the Dune miniseries, with accompanying text: "Space cowgirl." (Default)
I can't help it; discovering this proofreading thing has made a new model of couch potato out of me. I actually had to force myself to stop after doing another 100 pages' worth this morning. There was a little dip in my enjoyment when I hit a medical text that was mostly concerned with surgery - reading about the best ways to gouge and saw out diseased sections of bone nearly made me physically ill. But then I got to a French book of prayers and devotions; not really my thing in a certain sense, but full of very beautiful language, and it was fun to let what bits of French there are left in my brain out for a while.

Apparently, there is a French translation of Uncle Tom's Cabin up for review, too. I ought not to do any more pages tonight, but hopefully there'll still be some left tomorrow. Most of my experience with reading books in both English and French has been with Harry Potter, which I've basically memorized anyway; it'll be fun to do with a text I don't know as well.

Jeremiah was the Show of the Day today. I'd been kind of hoping to get a chance to watch it - Jeremiah is one of those fandoms where most of my exposure to it (before today) was through the medium of a few Jeremiah/Kurdy fics I ran into somewhere once upon a time, and whence I gleaned that there was possibly some awesome to be had in the source material. Which there was. I think I hit a batch of later episodes, because it felt like it was decently far through a relatively major plot arc, but I could still understand most of what was going on, and man. Now I ship Jeremiah and Kurdy for real. :D There was we're-so-married bickering! With textual acknowledgement of the fact that it was we're-so-married bickering! Jeremiah had past history with a girl, and Kurdy got all wary and insisted they check her out (and Jeremiah agreed)! Kurdy was briefly interested in a girl, and Jeremiah got all huffy, left, and got himself hurt, only to be rescued (when Kurdy realized somebody else was wearing his boots)! There was even a conversation about how Kurdy should never have let him go off by himself because he had promised to watch Jeremiah's back, it was totally adorable.

I wasn't completely on board with the end of that episode, because it pushed a religion-is-hope/morality-and-atheism-is-nihilism viewpoint a little too hard for my taste. But I do have to give the show some props: that episode was weirdly perky about vaguely cultish religious groups, but one of the following ones went pretty completely in the opposite direction, which left me with the general impression that they were going for an even-handed, "it depends on what you do with it" kind of treatment. Which is fine with me. I don't have much commentary on race and gender accumulated yet; I think I'll have to watch some more, and think on it a while.

Tomorrow, it's time for filling out paperwork to get my research approved by the IRB, and then an afternoon out with M, J, K, and Q. \o/

(A quick note about tags, mostly for myself: the "tv show" and "movie" tags are for discussions of viewings of movies or episodes; "fandom" tags are for when the post is more concerned with the fannish side of things. This one? Gets both.)

Hee.

May. 13th, 2009 10:09 pm
damkianna: A cap of the Reverend Mother from the Dune miniseries, with accompanying text: "Space cowgirl." (Default)
Today was nerdy fun pretty much from start to finish. I got up early to feed the pets - two dogs, two cats - as promised, only to find that my mother was already awake, and had pretty much done everything. Turns out the loose dog and the more active of the cats had been waking her up intermittently for an hour or two.

So I ended up lounging around for a while reading back issues of ... Asimov's, I think it was, a little sci-fi short story magazine; there were a few disturbing stories, a few stories I'm not sure I totally understood, and a few stories I liked, which is pretty par for the course, as far as me and short stories go.

And then I got up and mixed up some sugar water for the hummingbird feeders, before putting them out. My mom put out some seedlings on the porch to get some sun before she left for work; I checked on them, and ended up putting a skirt - yes, when I say that, I actually mean a piece of clothing, this is not some kind of fancy horticultural terminology - over them, because they weren't quite used to full sun and they got a little wilty.

And then I proofread a hundred pages of text for Project Gutenberg. :D Aside from the obvious lure of proofreading in general - I got to fix typos! And formatting! It was like heaven! - the pieces of text themselves were actually really interesting. I did a few pages from a book about a young girl trying to become a dancer; another, a very sharp, dryly funny one, about cross-examination strategies in the courtroom; an old children's book about the life of Jesus, including a lavish description of the beauty of "Magdalen" and her "courtezan" lifestyle that made me think of Inara; and another one that seemed to be pretty much a collection of discussions and reviews of equipment for helping gamblers cheat at cards. And when I say reviews, I mean that some of the pages boiled down to "A+++++++++ WOULD CHEAT WITH AGAIN". That one was pretty awesome.

There was also some fail, natch - there was another relatively old children's book about some soldiers attached to an operation to lay railroad through the Rockies, and the part I proofread was the part where they get chased by those horrible savage murderous Indians, who are bloodthirstily persistent in their attempts to take the scalps of innocent white men. ... Yeah. I think it may have struck an especially unpleasant note with me because of MammothFail.

And then, after I decided that I should probably not do more than 100 pages a day, my recording thingy, the one I order because I'm going to need it for my thesis research, arrived! \o/ Whole new avenues of distraction were opened! I don't have much of a voice to speak of, but I do like to sing, so I took the opportunity and recorded some (rather terrible) renditions of songs that I know but do not actually have - ones I learned in chorus, stuff like that. Oh, and the Mingulay Boat Song; I learned that one in elementary school, and became very used to hearing it in soft, sweet, 4th-grade girls' voices, before discovering that most of the professional recordings of it are sung by big growly men. This is a very scarring situation to be in, so obviously I needed a nice high-pitched version to keep me sane.

All told, today was kind of awesome. Shiny.
damkianna: A cap of the Reverend Mother from the Dune miniseries, with accompanying text: "Space cowgirl." (Default)
I totally did not miss you even a teeny tiny bit. How do I always end up with so much junk? I don't know how normal people stand it, I have maybe a third as many clothes as anybody else in my suite and it's still a pain in the butt getting it all stowed away. Aagh.

Also? Wow, is my desk disgusting. Like, the floor under it, sure; hair as long as mine is + air with powers of spontaneous fuzzy dust = dustbunnies FROM HELL. But even the surface of the desk, the parts I don't use much because they were covered with crap? Yikes.

It's pretty weird how blank the wall looks. I didn't even have that much stuff up - a few funny Star Trek posters (well, using the word "poster" is probably too generous, they were only regular 8.5x11 sheets), my NaNoWriMo poster, Obama's giant head, and a few postcards and things. The walls were far from covered, is my point. Also, the bed looks really strange without all the cloth on it. It's lofted, and the mattress is supported by this CRAZY STUPID system of interlocking hooks; I ended up hanging a sheet's worth of fabric on the underside just out of self-defense, to keep the hooks from catching in my hair all the time. There was also another piece that hung down the back, and a smaller strip on one side, both of which were more for the sake of color.

I still haven't gone to the library yet, and I should do that before my sister gets here and we have to start packing the car up. (Getting all my stuff to actually fit inside the Prius is always a good time.) However, I'm reconsidering the necessity of asking them about recording equipment; I still have over a thousand dollars left from my last summer job, and I should make a fair amount from this summer's, so it's not like it would actually be too terrible a wrench to spend a couple hundred ordering myself the kind of digital recorder that my advisor was planning to give me before hers broke. It would actually probably come in handy for a fair number of things, and also it might be useful to have one around and be good at using it if I really am going to go for this whole linguistics thing. The part where I don't have to have terrifying conversations with people I don't know in the library is just kind of a bonus. :D

ZOMG.

May. 5th, 2009 09:36 pm
damkianna: A cap of the Reverend Mother from the Dune miniseries, with accompanying text: "Space cowgirl." (Default)
MY PROPOSAL GOT ACCEPTED! \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/

... Which means I definitely have to go to the library to ask scary people scary questions about recording equipment, and also my weekends over the summer are pretty much written off to asking even more scary people to talk so I can record them, and AUGH. But if it hadn't gotten accepted, things would undoubtedly be even worse. :D

I actually got the e-mail much, much earlier this afternoon, but then I had to go to my Astronomy final - fifty or sixty multiple-choice questions, it was somewhat less than terrifying - and then I took a celebratory nap that ended up being, um, four hours long. Hahahaoops.

Now to introduce my roommate to the wonders of Firefly. I hooked both of my suitemates into watching it, and got one of them to buy both the series and the Big Damn Movie; my last roommate watched it a little, too, although I didn't get the chance to transform her into a proper fangirl. My roommate this semester - a girl I didn't know at all, to replace the girl I'd been living with for the previous year and a half because she was going abroad, and thus VERY SCARY - has, it turns out, seen the BDM, but not Firefly. I cannot fathom this. Thus, now that both of our exams are over: time to fix that!

w00t. \o/

May. 4th, 2009 07:29 pm
damkianna: A cap of the Reverend Mother from the Dune miniseries, with accompanying text: "Space cowgirl." (Default)
My thesis proposal has been successfully resubmitted! *does a little dance* I drink from the keg of glory; bring me all the muffins and bagels in all the land. [/West Wing]

Man, that is such a weight off - I mean, until they reject it again, and I sink into angst and despair, and the long dark teatime of the soul comes upon me, of course. But until then, the world is AWESOME. \o/!

Dropping the thing off, in and of itself, was actually the least terrifying part of the whole bit. See, I had to go by my advisor's office again, because I needed her signature on the resubmit, and the door was closed. At first I could not decide whether this was good or bad: if she wasn't there, I didn't have to meet with her, but I, uh, also wasn't going to be able to, y'know, resubmit my proposal. And then I heard her voice from inside, and realized two things: a) she was on the phone, and b) I was totally going to have to knock on the door.

I'm irrational about these things, I know. But I get the same kind of visceral DO NOT WANT reaction in situations like this as I do when I find a spider on the wall next to me. Actually knocking on the door was like going to get a cup, and catching the spider by getting my hands reeeeeeally close to it, having to resist the urge to yank them back and run screaming every step of the way; it took me a good twenty minutes to work up to it. Thank god there aren't a lot of people wandering through the offices of the CMSI department.

But eventually, I did convince myself to knock, and got inside, and got the signature. She also let me know that it would probably be best for me to go by the library and try to take out recording equipment for the summer, since she's been having some problems with hers, and she doesn't want to give them to me if they aren't, y'know, working. Which is gonna be a whole new level of terror, I'm betting - I'm going to have to go into the library and ask somebody who I should talk to about it in the first place, and then once I find that person, I'm gonna need to have a full-on conversation about recording equipment and the logistics of taking it out for the summer, and AUGH - but I'm going to try not to worry about that 'til tomorrow.

Aside from that, I did a little prodding to the actual main story in my HP AU 'verse, rather than the side character shipfic; it actually went rather pleasantly. I also wrote a couple of teeny snippets of Merlin fic - nothing that's ever going to see the light of day, or anything, because pretty much nothing I write ever does, but it was fun. Sooner or later, I should probably ... actually watch the show. :D It's so nice, not having to put off fic for the sake of schoolwork; I can get struck by an idea and actually stop whatever I'm doing to go write about it for an hour or two, instead of just wishing I could, or maybe scribbling down a couple sentences so I don't forget and then getting back to work. Yay summer!
damkianna: A cap of the Reverend Mother from the Dune miniseries, with accompanying text: "Space cowgirl." (Default)
Kind of a lot, actually, considering how teeny an anecdote it is. See, we had these sheets handed out to us at the beginning of the year that we were meant to use to list a bunch of our favorite things and then pin to our doors; it was supposed to help us all bond. All it actually did was teach me that somebody across the hall thinks that Patrick Dempsey is their favorite actor even though they can't spell his name right, but points for effort on the RA's part.

There's a slot for favorite boardgame, and as I was going down the hall last night to get more water from the water fountain (you don't drink what comes out of the taps in our rooms. You just don't) I caught sight of the answer of the person across the hall, which made me think fondly of my own answer - Sequence, as it happens, for one very particular reason: it has become the boardgame of choice for my meet-ups with my friends from home. M, who is a peculiar combination of adept and inept when it comes to social situations - she doesn't have my paralyzing fear of ordering things or talking to people in stores, but she can sometimes be very hard to have a normal conversation with - and is very, very smart; J, who may not match up to M when it comes to academics, but has a way of wholeheartedly living her life that's kind of unintentionally charming; K, who is very nearly Luna Lovegood made manifest; and Q, who laughs at everything except her schoolwork, which she takes dead seriously. They're all a year younger than I am - I made friends with them relatively recently, during a period when I was slowly losing all the friends I had in my own grade to outside circumstances, and now they're my best friends in the world.

And I swear to god, I nearly started crying right there in the hallway. Okay, yes, I am a big squishyface; the end of HP:GoF has made me cry each of the, oh, three or four times I've watched it. But I do not usually start crying randomly in the hall! I had no idea that missing people could sneak up on you like that. I thought about it later while I was trying to get to sleep, and I almost started crying again. Good thing I only have to wait 'til Wednesday to get home for the summer. Yikes.

Fortunately, I have another anecdote, more cheerful, to balance that one out. I woke up this morning with the tail end of a dream of myself singing a song still in my head. Lyrics shortly, because it is kind of an awesome song, but there is also backstory here. )

The first time I heard the Beatles actually singing ... well, one of their own songs, I was shocked. Shocked! Who were these peculiar people singing King's Singers songs, and why, god, why was their tone quality so wretched? To this day, I have trouble listening to the actual Beatles, because all I can think is, "sweet god, your tone quality is like a cheese grater, where's my King's Singers playlist?" ... Elitist music-listener is elitist. :D

The song I dreamed of myself singing was not one of the Beatles', although it may have been preceded by listening to one; I don't know, my dream memory's pretty fuzzy after an hour and change. It was this one, which has been covered by everybody and their mother since it was composed in the late 1930s, based off of a poem by Jane Brown Thompson:

Lyrics! )

Lovely song, both sad and a little funny, which is usually the sort I find the most wrenching. And, of course, to my mind, the King's Singers version is the REAL version. It's the one I heard first, THAT MAKES IT REAL.

Now, to finish up the thesis proposal revisions, and then I can e-mail my advisor to make sure I'll be able to get her to sign a physical copy before tomorrow afternoon. *crosses fingers*

Well, okay.

May. 2nd, 2009 05:54 pm
damkianna: A cap of the Reverend Mother from the Dune miniseries, with accompanying text: "Space cowgirl." (Default)
So, I could babble self-indulgently about fandom for a really, really long time. Like, pages' worth of nattering, no lie, especially since I've been thinking about it off-and-on since last night (well, okay, early this morning, but).

But I'll just leave it at what I hope will be a relatively short paragraph. )

tl;dr: fandom has made me way less of an idiot than I used to be in about twenty different ways. \o/ And none of it would have happened if I hadn't gotten sucked into trying to find myself good stories about hot people. Go figure.

Aside from musing on the results of my wacky love of all things fannish, I've done ... practically nothing, today. Which is bad - I should totally have been working on revising my thesis proposal for the Monday resubmission - but was also really relaxing. :D I read a crazy man's 80,000-word manifesto on What's Wrong With Harry Potter (NB: link points to a PDF); I think maybe there were a couple of decent points buried under all the pretentiousness and entitlement, but it's hard to say, I was distracted by his continual use of the royal "we". (No, really, he literally wrote the words "Maybe we've come off as a ... git". ??!?!??!)

So. Thesis proposal. And maybe when I've done a little work on that, I'll pop Age of Mythology in again.
damkianna: A cap of the Reverend Mother from the Dune miniseries, with accompanying text: "Space cowgirl." (Default)
*sigh* At least I had Sunday to prepare myself for it getting all warm again. Bleck.

The first half of my gym final - yes, that's right, my final exam in gym - was this morning; it involved ... well, in essence, it involved proving that I could walk nine laps around a track. The more detailed explanation: walking nine laps, aka a mile, in thirteen minutes garnered you ten points; walking nine laps in over thirteen minutes got you five. Now, presumably, the gym teacher was asking for some kind of good-faith effort no matter what, but in a literal sense, the terms of the exam pretty much say that you could take the entire class period to walk nine laps, and you would still get five points.

... \o/!

Needless to say, I got five points. I'm not sure it actually matters that much, since my understanding is that the final is worth ten points total, and you can earn the full ten points on either half; I probably could have skipped today's class and only gone tomorrow, and gotten ten points. That is, if I weren't so compulsive about academics. I was never much for rule-breaking, but I was convinced by a friend to skip class once in middle school, and it scarred me forever; I'm pretty sure I totally baffled the principal, I got sent to her office for it and immediately burst into tears, vowing never ever to do it again if only they wouldn't be mad at me! Even now, in college, where attendance isn't even taken in the vast majority of my classes, I feel wrong and dirty and wrong when I skip.

Anyway. That was obviously a super fun time. I am SO GOOD at walking in circles, it's crazy. :D

I fixed up the first half of my thesis proposal, as my advisor and I agreed I would do for today; I just sent her an e-mail asking whether I should come by with the revised pages in person or just e-mail them to her, and am currently waiting with bated breath for a response. Guess which option I'm hoping she picks!

Either way, this afternoon's going to be mostly fixing up the now-complete first draft of my paper on Saramaccan, and studying for my Literature exam.

... Sometimes I just cannot handle the raging excitement that is my life.

ETA: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Victory is mine, victory is mine; great day in the morning, victory is mine! [/West Wing] \o/ My advisor picked e-mail, which means no meeting, which means no pounding heart, no overwhelming and unreasonable terror, no facing anybody I respect in person and watching them tell me what I did wrong. AWESOME.
damkianna: A cap of Wash from Firefly, with accompanying text: "Once, in flight school, I was laconic." (Once in flight school I was laconic.)
By any objective measure, I think I just had a very productive meeting with my thesis advisor. Unfortunately for me, I am not good at objective measuring.

Even good meetings fill me with such angst, just because they are meetings. With people. I knew that it was going to be relatively short; that we would be discussing the revisions I need to make to my proposal to get it accepted; that it was very, very unlikely that my advisor would at any point say disgustedly, "omg you are SO STUPID, get out of my office, you failboat!" But I was still jittering around my room, like, twenty minutes beforehand, practicing things I thought I might need to say and listening to my heart pound. (Like, actually pound! How lame is that? SO LAME.)

Ugh. Even though everything went perfectly well, I was still so relieved to get out of there.

Fortunately, now I am out of there. To wind down, I ended up writing another bundle of little snippets from my possible-first-toe-dip-into-fandom Harry Potter AU fic 'verse; that thing is eating my brain, no lie. I'm spending so much time working out the class list that I keep wandering off into musings about the people on it - the totally unimportant characters who are only there to fill out said class list, in other words. Anyway, those musings have somehow resulted in me ending up with SIXTEEN PAGES of pointless fluffy shipfic about people who are most likely never even going to show up in the actual fic. If I ever finish it, that is.

What I really need to be working on is my papers. I need to write my paper on Saramaccan for Pidgins and Creoles this weekend, and I should probably start the one on Scottish Gaelic for Linguistic Anthropology. Plus I should study for my Literature test at some point. But am I? No, no I am not. Instead, I'm writing excerpts of fluffy nonsense about people nobody cares about.

In conclusion: *facepalm* Dammit, brain.

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damkianna: A cap of the Reverend Mother from the Dune miniseries, with accompanying text: "Space cowgirl." (Default)
'tis not so deep as a well

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